swag king

It's 3AM. I'm wide awake and my heart is well, broken.

My sweet dear friends Danny and Nicole whom I cherish more than some of my own family has lost a brother, Peter.

Our friends are not supposed to get their wings so young. We are supposed to grow old together and attend each others funerals with walkers, wheel chairs and polyester pants I tell you.

I always looked up to him. I thought he was the coolest big brother there ever was. Even his friends were super cool. Maybe it was just the fact the were "older", nah. I mean how could one person radiate so much coolness is a mystery to me.

He always pulled the hottest hoes too. Well except that cougar phase he went through... I'll just leave that at that.

I remember the first time Brad met him.

We were at Hooters in Mesquite of all places and he was at a table full of hot ass girls. He was wearing a white furry fedora before the GAP sold em' if you know what I mean.

See swag.

I was so happy to see him. And Brad says to me, "You know this guy?!" In a very serious and shocked tone. He'd only met a handful of my friends and Jeff Sparks was there too with his girl friend and we totally ended up on a double date that night. Stranger things have happened trust me.

So, Peter Hall and Jeff Sparks both in one night. I bet Brad was thinking oh my Lordy who else is she gonna surprise me with. Never a dull moment I tell ya.

His smile was contagious. His eyes sparkled. He was tender, sweet and funny. Half the time completely full of shit too and you never knew if he was completely fucking with you or not.

And I loved that about him.

I will always cherish the last time we hung out just a few months ago at Jayla Bears birthday party. Dancing like drunk pre-teens who clearly needed a chaperone. I will cherish that short video no matter how embarrassing.

Just one last time I'd love to hear him say, "Hey, What's Up, Abra?!" with one of his heart warming hugs and smiles. He had such a way about him, charming to say the least.

Until we will meet again Peter, one day...

Do the pelvic rest, alright, alright y'all !!!

I guess the "sex rest" just wasn't enough.

Can you sense my sarcasm?

So, now onto pelvic rest which is just another fancy word for bed rest I do believe.

I started spotting again yesterday.

Maybe I just over did it on the walking.

I wasn't near as upset as I thought I'd be. It was more anger, I was pissed. It's not supposed to be like this.

But I will do whatever it takes to keep my beloved lil' kidney bean safe...

Me and my Gusser's are all cozy and laid up today. I've watched Columbiana so far which was just a spinoff of La Femme Nikita and of The Professional.

Still good but not as good. All I'm gonna say with my most awesome movie review...

225 days to go.

feed me

Nothing taste good. Everything I loved before disgusts me, even Grimaldi's pizza. And the guac at Chipotle and my own cooking most nights.

My beloved Starbucks Thanksgiving Blend coffee tasted like hot dog weiners this morning. I can't even enjoy my cup of joe anymore.

And I'm so hungry.

Last week I ate a whole pineapple for dinner. And just last night ice cream at Braums because well my spaghetti and meat sauce was DISGUSTING!

Weirdly a few items have caught me and my tasters by surprise. Those honey bbq wings at PhD in Dallas over on Davis St. And the Pea Salad at the Cotton Gin in Crandall. Now that's good! I could not get enough...

But...

I'm super thankful my tatses are so outta whack! Because I got to hear the sweetest sound of my life yesterday. My baby's beating heart. Music to my ears. I can't even begin to explain the relief and just pure joy those few seconds brought me.

Our baby is measuring right on time, 7 weeks and 4 days. A whole half inch long with a strong heartbeat.
226 days to go.

Borracho Beans

I'm 6 weeks prego. And the morning sickness has started.

I had forgotten what it was like to feel like you have a hangover all day for an entire week straight. Small frequent meals are key and lot's of water with an occasional coke on ice of course.

I have been keeping this pregnancy a secret for a few weeks from most everyone.

And boy is it hard this week, especially from my work family.

I love me a pot of beans, pinto beans or charro beans. They are even called barracho beans or bean soup in Texas. My brother makes the best beans in the world hands down. I crave them especially lately, something about the warm comforting spicyness. Cilantro, onion, bacon, garlic, jalepeno, tomato just a few of my all time fave things and put all together WOW!

I order a No. 6 with a side of borracho beans and flour tortillas. The boss man gives me the look. Second time in 2 weeks I have ordered the beans.

He KNOWS!

And comments a few seconds later. Wait are you PREGNANT?!

HA! He nailed it and I high fived him.

I'm so glad I don't have to keep that secret anymore.

Everyone is so happy and congratulating.

I am so blessed and happier than I can even begin to explain right now...

baby

Friday, October 5th I went in for my annual "lady part" exam.  I have been off birth control for over a year, we haven't been not, not trying to get pregnant if you know what I mean.

But... I have had that baby fever for a while now. For about 2 years I begged and pleaded and he finally gave in or well I gave in to him. I'm not really sure at this point.

Ideally I didn't want to officially start trying until January after our NYE trip to Walt Disney World. But you can't plan everything.

So, I walked out of the doctors office with a bag full of prenatal vitamin samples and an info sheet on what to and not to do while trying to concieve and after conception.

I also left with confirmation from my sweet lady part doctor that I was in fact ovulating or about to within the next day or two.

A cold front had blew in that weekend, and it was gray outside and raining.

Perfect baby making weather it was.

Shit just got real.

It is starting...

I forgot to lock the front door this morning while I took the monsters to school.

And.

I forgot to brush my teeth.

I call this placenta head.

It's awful. And very real.

I once forgot my sweet brother-in-laws name.

I was hugely pregnant with Leighton, during our first Christmas dinner together as a family way back in 2002. I'm standing in the Turkey line at 1111 Redman Lane. I can even recall what I was wearing.  I was looking right at him. And yes, I forgot his name. I really did.

My mind just went blank.

He knew it to, I think we finally settled on "hey you" get outta my way I need food kind of convo. Poor Josh, I bet he was wondering what in the hell his brother had gotten himself into.

237 more days...

unrefined

Email.

It is a perfectly appropriate super easy way to communicate with teachers. No lost notes, no awkward phone conversations etc.  So, I get an email from my sweet Natalie's 2nd grade teacher.  Not a big deal.

But...

Someone is having a birthday next week and are bringing cupcakes to share with the class.

I panic.

A million excuses are running through my head to avoid going to school and work THAT day.

I have been avoiding birthday parties all summer.  I mean I hate birthday's as it is, so don't take it personally. They are full of disappointment anyways. I categorize them right up there with Christmas, my least favorite holiday. Like ever.

But honestly I could not even begin to deal with my girls disappointment when everyone else was having cake and ice cream.   The last thing I wanna do is drag my kid to a party where everyone is stuffing there faces with food and drink she can't have. Maybe she would handle it fine. Maybe it's really me that has the issue. But whatever.

Anxiously I lay in bed late one night googling a gluten free and vegan bakery in Dallas.  Did I mention I am indeed the worst non-conventional baker that there ever was? Yep, I am awful. But I can make a mean streusel but only because it's mostly oats ha!

I came across a bakery called unrefined. I check out their website and sure enough they are corn free too. I woke up the Mr. and told him all about my findings and that I was going to visit that bakery tomorrow matter of fact. It was even located in Lakewood, not far from us.

I was giddy. I was hopeful. I was gonna get my girl a cupcake that was egg, wheat and corn free and it was going to taste good and be pretty. And she was going to eat cupcakes like everyone else in her class.

See the girl can have dairy and animal products all day long, it's the egg. Vegan is a safe code as well as gluten free category for us. She doesn't have celiac disease or anything like that, just an allergy to wheat and corn and a bunch of other great foods.

I walked into the bakery, it was easy to find. The curb appeal was pretty dang adorable too. I was greeted with confidence.

I ordered up an egg free vanilla cupcake in it's own little brown box with a lid, a loaf of egg free pumpkin bread and a egg free pizza crust. Are you sick of reading "egg free" yet? Me either.

Wish I'd taken more photos but I was too dang excited. There were not cases of baked goods, they keep everything in the back except a small display case on the counter. I hear they have coffee and smoothies too but I was too distracted to even take notice.

I sampled a piece of incredibly soft yeasty bread while I was there. The girl is used to frozen rice flour based bread and well toast and grilled cheese is the extent of her sliced goodness. I'll have to save that purchase for another day. The Mr. may ban me from this bakery, gotta play it cool on the checkbook my first trip.

As I was leaving I told the lady I loved her. I left with tears in my eyes. True story.

I couldn't wait to share the goodies with my family when I got home. I could barely contain my excitement.

The pumpkin bread was delicious, not as good as my mine of course but for what it's lacking you'd never know it.

The pizza crust was crispy and satisfying and best of all I didn't have to venture out for pizza night clear across town. Or fail miserably and make a mess of my kitchen not to mention spend a gazillion dollars on ingredients I was just going to mess up anyways.

Did I mention they were dairy free too? Well, they are mostly anyways.

It's Doughnuts with Dad at school later this week. Fried dough, I think I can handle.