six

Six is the number of days I have been a non-smoker.

I really like the sound of it, non-smoker. Yep, pretty awesome.

I had a really tough time late this morning, I wanted one bad. My normal routine would be to go downstairs grab the mail and a quick smoke. I'm not surprised, it's pretty much a given it was my routine for so many years. Six years of that exact routine M-F around 10AM rain or shine hot or cold.

My husband as he always does asked me how I was feeling this morning.

Such an easy question to respond to.

Yet, I didn't know what to say because well...

I felt numb. I have been on major defense mode the past six days.  Trying not to feel. I know it may sound a bit strange but if I remain neutral I will not lose it. That's my tactic for now, to just be.

I skyped Brad and confessed my ridiculous urge, he suggested I take a walk down to Starbucks and grab a drink. Now normally I'd totally be up for this. But see we are really trying to stay on budget and get out of debt. i.e. baby step no. 2. And well Starbuck's just wasn't on the budget this week. Instead of giving in to either options. I got up and chopped salad veggies for my lunch.

Yep, idle hands helped me get my mind off the crazed craving. I'm a bit stubborn in case you didn't know this, so make note of it.

By the time I got back to my desk I had an email, from Starbucks. Weird right?! I figured it was spam or some virus chain email crap but it was addressed to Aunt Abra. It was from Jackson T. a gift card, yep you read that right. A gift card to Starbucks!

I need to go buy a lotto ticket right now!

See Jackson is a black lab I helped my boss rescue from the Little Elm animal shelter a few years ago. She recieved an email from a rescue organization and she instantly fell in love. He was on the euthanize list for that evening if someone didn't adopt him by 5PM. She was going out of town for the weekend and they would not hold him, not even with a deposit. So I kindly offered to go get him and keep him for the weekend.

So, off I go to Little Elm late afternoon on a Friday. Traffic was a nightmare. And I got lost. This was before I had a GPS and a fancy iPhone with directions. All I had was a crappy print-out from google maps that was WRONG! I stopped and asked for directions twice. No one knew where the shelter was. There was a deadline. If I didn't make it to pick him up in time. Well I don't think I could have showed my face at work Monday morning.

I finally made it with minutes to spare. Jackson was just a skinny little thing. We knew nothing about him besides he was a black lab, male and young. And it didn't matter, see it was just meant to be. He happily climbed in the Mustang and rode shotgun all the way home. He was such a sweet boy from the beginning. We made it home, I bathed him and we got to know him for the weekend. His mom picked him up on Sunday afternoon and I think it was love at first sight for sure. See Jackson has the best mom in the whole world, he is spoiled and rightfully so. I mean look at this face, love...

My kiddo's still ask and talk about the "hurt" tail dog. Not because his tail was injured. But because he was so happy and constantly wagged his tail. And when your a kid and um short it doesn't feel so great to have a dog's tail beat the crap out of your face. They loved him anyways though.

Thank you Jackson for the gift card today, it really made my day bearable!

i quit

It's been almost 24 hours since I smoked my last cigarette.

I have been thinking about it seriously for months now and guiltily just kept smoking. With my Dad's surgery and own struggle with the nasty habit I decided to finally commit, on his birthday. As a sort of gift I guess if you'd call it that.

I got to visit with my Dad yesterday. He was still in the ICU when I stopped in and talked with my Mom this AM.  They were waiting on a regular room to open up. He probably gets more attention in the ICU anyways so I would just rather him stay there, I mean who doesn't like being fussed over. He looked pretty damn good yesterday I'd have to say considering. They made him walk a short distance and sit up a bit. He started eating a little solid food but I don't think his appetite was quite back to normal yesterday.  Hopefully I'll have more of an update on him this afternoon.

I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm tired. And. I'm cold.

I drove off and left Brad mid-sentence last night after getting haircuts etc. He only suggested we eat at home after we had already discussed eating out just minutes beforehand. And being the insane person I am without nicotine, knowing it was well after 8PM and I had nothing at home to throw together I said FINE and drove off. He did have his car there, so it wasn't completely terrible of me.

He of course followed me because that's what any nice husband would do. I went to the closest grocery store to grab some milk for the kiddo's breakfast in the morning. And some bread for their toast. We argued about bread, I mean seriously? I was nearly in tears I just wanted to go home and hide under the covers at this point. I mean who argues with their family about bread, yep that would be me. Completely embarrassing.

Then I stopped for gas because well I was about to run out and he so kindly got out and pumped my gas. Then the tears started pouring. I felt like a lunatic like I needed to be admitted somewhere stat. And here he was suggesting Sonic for dinner and pumping my gas and all I could do was cry and wish to be at home in my bed. He kindly asked Leighton to go sit in his car with Natalie and he apologized and tried to make me feel better, which normally works. Brad has a way with words he is the most tender sweetest man at times. But it just didn't make me feel any better and I needed to escape. Yes, I'm a flight risk BTW.

We got home, I heated up some leftover pizza for the kiddo's threw down some fruit cups, poured glasses of milk. And headed for my bedroom. I threw on my Jammie's and cried myself to sleep at 8:30PM.

Completely lame I know. But it's the truth. Hoping tonight is better. I mean arguing over bread and crying yourself to sleep is like rock bottom, right?

Heart Breaker

Today my dad is having triple bypass surgery. It just seems so unreal I don't think it's quite sunk in yet. I type this as I'm in the surgery waiting room. They took him in for prep at 6:30am. I made it just in time to tell him how much I loved him and happy valentine's day. I also informed him he indeed was a heartbreaker and gently and briefly held his hand as they rolled him from his room. This is not his first heart scare. 12 years ago he had a heart attack. I remember it well. For I was graduating high school that week and drove him to the ER. He smoked the entire drive there, yes he really did. They installed a stent and he was good as new. Saturday afternoon he started feeling ill and took two nitro. My Mom drove him to the ER in Kaufman. His EKG was not good but his blood pressure was. They transferred him to a more equipped hospital in Dallas by ambulance. After his angioplasty yesterday he indeed needed triple bypass surgery. We were all pretty shocked. Good news is his stent has held up well and is still doing it's job but the artery before and after is not. He turns 69 tomorrow. My brother's birthday too. And the anniversary of my grandfather's death, my dad's father. Who iI never got the chance to know. My Dad rawks. He is funny, down to earth and the biggest smart ass I know. He likes tequila in the summer and whiskey in the winter. A gambler at heart, blackjack and poker. And has the sweetest, sweet tooth I have ever met. He is tender , affectionate and an honest hard working man. I need to emphasisize the honest part. He tells it like it is. You know that saying, a daughter usually marries a man just like her father and well yeah its true. He asked me to write down a few things yesterday for my mom on a piece of paper yesterday, for that just in case. Like the safe combination and to get his guns you know the important shit she may not remember. I learned a few things yesterday. George Washington apparently was "bled" to death by his physician. Which is actually controversial as I checked my dad's facts via google. And we both share the same blood type. Not George but me and my Dad, gotta clarify. And a lot more random crap I'm not gonna bore you with. Say a little prayer for my dad please. He is our rock, our matriarch, our everything. I could go on and on about how awesome he is but everyone who already knows him knows this. Love you Dad! Here's to a speedy recovery and another 20 plus years of giving your family your gift of being you.

blogging throwbacks

So... Apparently on myspace there is a blog section. And I indeed wrote a few entries back in the day that are pretty entertaining. And they are about food, of course. This girl likes to eat, as my friend BL says I have a hollow leg. So here are a few throwbacks...

August 7, 2009

Flying Fish

First off the trip solo to ....Preston.. ..Center.... was the longest 8 miles of my entire life driving. Seriously 30 MPH?! I swear everyone was going 20 and I caught every red light there and back. Some creepy guy in line asked me if I rode horses and kept touching my back and apologizing his family was taking so long to order etc. I mean really this is TX and people wear boots who aren't freaking cowgirls!!! The food delivery was super fast, lemonade was refreshing considering I had to sit outside that place was PACKED!!!  The place was real cute I'll give it that, loved the sign about the kiddo's staying seated at tables otherwise they'd be given espresso and a free puppy LOL Everyone apparently liked my new Firebird t-shirt cause I got a few compliments cool shirt etc. and lots of stares or I guess maybe I had tartar sauce on my face who really knows.  The food was good and hot but not the best I’ve had by far. I'll take Joe's Seafood in East Dallas any day over the Flying Fish for good ole' fried catfish. Well that sums up my Flying Fish experience oh and I lost my car in the garage LOL I walked right by it

 

 

 

 

January 25, 2006

My Fortune

So, I went to Pei-Wei on McKinney for lunch today and got to thinking about those yummy fortune cookies.  How are you supposed to open them anyway for your fortune to come true?  Bite it or just break it open?  My husband and I always add in bed to the end of our fortunes to add a little fun to it ;)  My fortunes for the day are and yes I had 3!!!
You can't ride in all directions at one time.  IN BED
You would be wise not to seek too much from others at this time. IN BED
Tomorrow may be too late to enjoy what you can today.  IN BED
I hope you got that last one B-rad seconds thoughts on your trip huh what?!

 

Happy 9th Birthday Lego Leighton!

Today is my son Leighton's birthday, he's nine today. I remembered a note on myspace on his 3rd birthday I wrote years ago, yeah that's right myspace. So I logged in to take a look and here it is, enjoy.

3 years ago today my son Leighton was born...

He was so very eager to meet us my due date wasn't until February 23rd but he showed up 5 weeks early.  The night of my baby shower at The Upham's in Forney just in time huh!!!  Labor was very hard and scary but we made it...  He was born at 7lbs. 12oz a big boy thank goodness he didn't bake any longer might have been an 11 pounder.  He had a very rough start from the beginning in the NICU with his breathing but now he is a genius baby and you'd never know it.  I swear he has mitts of a 6 year old :)

Leighton is growing up to be such a little man and is very independent.  Such the little strong willed Capricorn i.e. BRAT. He does the funniest things that little boys all do like pick their noses and won't leave his worm alone. Very good with sound effects like his Daddy he makes this hilarious pig noise in his throat I love it!!! Picks on his poor baby sister Natalie all the time.  Seems like he never eats only snacks and drinks chocolate milk.  Lately he has turned into the little parrot repeating every naughty word that flys out of my mouth and I can't help but laugh he has no idea... 

He loves pancakes, cheese pizza and yellow is his favorite color. Loves to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Jingle Bells and O' Christmas Tree.  Every time we get in the car he asks what street we are on and where we are going.  He knows all the major routes to the people he loves most; he can tell me on the drop of a hat if we are going the wrong way.   I am so very lucky to have such a wonderful son!!!  Thank you GOD!!!  I love him so very much and wanted to start my first blog to wish him a Happy Birthday ;)

I once read a card that said being a mom is like wearing your heart on your sleeve it is so very true!!!  And that book Mrs. Mays read us in High School Love you Forever still makes me cry every time I read it to my baby Leighton.  I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.  Okay gimme some Kleenex :)

3rd Grade

Not a lot has changed he still picks on his sister, loves pancakes and pizza! I really am proud to be his mother. He is the smartest most sensitive and funny 9 year old I know and I love him dearly. Today makes me a little sad knowing he is getting older and will need me less and less as he grows up.

Fearing's

I’m no food critic but I know good food and Dean Fearing’s restaurant at The Ritz Carlton is where it’s at! Like seriously I woke up with a food hangover and had to hit up the Crooked Tree Coffeehouse in Uptown for a toasted marshmallow latte and vegan cinnamon roll. I can’t say enough good things about that place either. But that’s a whole nother’ entry… I even got to meet him a few times he came by our table and seemed to do the same throughout the restaurant, which was very personably. He was completely adorable and so lively. His advice for his favorite menu item was “close your eyes and point”. Love it!

Now Fearing’s has got the southern southwest flavor down, yep completely got it. I would skip the usual salad and go straight for the tortilla soup or better yet fried oyster Rockefeller, yeah you heard me fried. Now this is no cheap Monday night joint know that. I’d save it for a special date night or hell talk someone into taking you out and paying the bill. Yeah free food always makes things taste off the chain! I had a few whiskey and cokes, I know classy. They seemed to have been missing the sweet coke part but I’m not complaining. See I had a pretty eventful day with my children at their elementary school having lunch and Christmas parties. Not sure if you have ever spent a few hours at an elementary school before. But the volume of say 300 kids under the age of 12 was pretty wild. Especially the day before Christmas break, seemed the whole school was levitating with excitement.

Compliments of the chef were music to my ears for sure. We were brought two tastings i.e. shots sans alcohol of some sort of mint eggnog and butternut squash soup I think. My taste buds yearned for more, my picky man said the eggnog was more like Maalox for him. But what does he know he prefers Coors Light beer.

My main course was the Maple-Black Peppercorn Soaked Buffalo Tenderloin on Brazos Valley Jalapeño Grits, Tangle of Greens and Butternut Squash Taquito. The Buffalo was cooked to a medium perfection, and I quite possibly could have licked my plate clean. Well maybe if I was alone and not in a dining room full of people. Now I’m a big fan of grits I’ve grown up eating them. So I’m very happy that it seems the latest food trend for the past few years. I mean they are good and well kinda hard to screw up. Grits make me happy especially jalapeño flavored ones. My date had the Bone-In Rib Eye Grilled Over Live Mesquite with West Texas ‘Mop’ Sauce, Creamy Corn Bread Pudding and Tempura Asparagus. I’m afraid I didn’t try the asparagus but it looked great. And that corn bread pudding, well if I could only have one last food for the rest of my entire life that would be it!

Now off to dessert. We fought over the Chocolate, Cajeta and Salted Peanut Ice Cream Cake with Mallow Fluff and Fried Peanut Butter Pies. And I even dabbled a little in the Caramelized Apple ‘Short Stack’ Oatmeal Shortdough Cookies with Pecan Pie Ice Cream and Blackberry Port Jam. The pecan pie ice cream was fabulous and we fought over the fried peanut butter pies. Can’t get any better than fried PB, seriously. Oh and the coffee was well FREAKING AWESOME. It was strong, had that "kick" I LOVE, smelled amazing and it's the little things that made it the absolute best cup of coffee I have ever had at a resturaunt. I mean who has little sugar cubes that are large and mishapen and wonderful along with a small stainless steel creamer pitcher filled of perfectly sweet steamed milk. Fearing's does. I was in fact in coffee heaven, for real.

Sadly this is the only photo I took and it doesn’t do it justice. I didn’t want to look like a total douche, ha!

Can’t wait to go back.

And I’m so thankful I work for such a fabulous company and people who really go the extra step to make me feel appreciated. Seriously thankful!

Oh and before I forget, the restrooms are unisex and there are no signs, so don’t freak out. Just go in.

Spiral Diner

Today was a vegan lunch adventure...

I normally stick to my usual Uptown fare, but it was a birthday lunch for our very special Bex! Yep, my high maintenance foodie friends convinced me to try the Spiral Diner in Oak Cliff. I have been counting down the days, couldn't wait to try it. I have heard all the rave reviews from them for months.  And so the day came...

First I couldn't commit to a beverage, so I tasted them all multiple times. I settled on my fave Watermelon Cream and Root Beer, finally. Not together of course, and I didn't feel awful about it because it was self serve. And this is no ordinary "coke" as we call it here in Texas. It's OOGAVÉ SODA ON TAP, made with 100% certified organic agave nectar. And after 3-4, I kinda lost count I didn't have the usual headache like I do with normal soda, score!

It was difficult to decide so after memorizing the menu and trying to figure out what all the "substitutes" were I settled on a Patty Melt with a Portobello Patty. Now I'm not sure if they were trying to put me on a diet or what but um, my sammy was small. But delish nonetheless! And the side of pasta with fresh basil was pretty darn good too.



Portobello Patty Melt Here are the famous nachos I have heard so much about. Erin was so kind to share with me. Again my sammy was small and well you know I can eat, ha! And goodness they were good, even the fake taco meat was good aka TVP. I'm not gonna tell what the abbreviation means cause well it's just not appealing, at all.

Nachos Supremo

And Amy's was quesadilla. Did I mention she shared with me too? Yep, I’m so thankful for my nice friends.

Grilled Portobello Quesadilla And they have a ton of choices for dessert. I was really eyeing that moist red velvet cake but settled on their seasonal peppermint ice cream. The base of this one was soy milk, now normally I'm not a fan but this had to be the creamiest ice cream I'd ever tasted. It had a very buttery flavor too. Almost like butterscotch and had perfect little bits of candy cane mixed in.

Peppermint Ice Cream Again with the small portions for yours truly. Bex let me try her Chocolate Mountain Mudslide, she had peppermint ice cream instead of the usual vanilla. And boy the brownie combo was the so super sweet but totally worked.

I had a great time at lunch as usual with my lady friends. I will be back to the Spiral Diner, definitely not on a date with the hubby though,

I'm afraid he prefers that cowboy food.