Morning, what's so good about it?

Feeding my baby in the front seat of my suburban as I write. In my kids school parking lot of all places. Heat blasting because I have on flip flops and it's a freezing 40 degree morning.

A morning I'd like to start over. 

I awake at 6:30, make crappy kuerig coffee because that's all I have. Only to realize my sweet Natalie drank the last little bit of milk I had saved for said crappy coffee. It was just the bottom slimey and barely a tbsp kinda last bit of milk yet she drank it.

I pump for 15 minutes because well the baby needs milk for daycare.

She's still asleep. Score. I get to take a shower.

Wake up the big kids for school.

I dry my hair, another victory. Wake baby change her diaper load everybody up for school.

Make sure the boy has his forms for his field trip that I'm missing today. Sadly. Major mom guilt this morning. Major.

Then he realizes he forgot his lunch that he didn't even make. In the drop off line.

I think fast! I'll drop sister off he can run in subway an exit away at the gas station. Since I don't have on a bra or shoes, he forgot his lunch no reason to make her late.

Then.

I realize I don't have my wallet either. 

Double F!

I go home. Change poopy pants baby. Grab an outfit for the day to get her dressed and then she sticks both feet in poopy diaper and is kicking and whaling her arms everywhere like a crazy baby. Holy crap. Poop everywhere. 

Finally a clean changed baby ahhh. Go in kitchen to make the boys lunch. I grab cat food off the floor before she eats it to only miss the water bowl she dumps out soaking her new clean outfit and diaper. I grab a towel and change her for the third time. Third.

I put baby in her crib to play while I throw a lunch together, like refill a half empty Fuji water bottle with tap water kinda lunch.

She is screaming the whole time. She needs me and a nap. But I can't. I have to get to work and make my boy his lunch. Tick tock tick tock.

Finally I can leave the house. The lunch is made! After 2 phone calls from my boy asking where the heck I am.

I throw on a bra, sundress, jean jacket, flip flops and grab all my toiletries (because I have no time to brush my teeth much less wear deodorant) socks and boots throw all my breast pump crap in a bag and grab my crying snotty hungry baby and her crap and run out the door.

I go into school for a mini therapy lesson the poor office staff, they should probably not ask me how I am. Like ever. On the real. But I love them and ALWAYS feel much better when leaving. I waited for my son and gave him a huge hug and told him how much I loved him and apologized for the crappy lunch.

Some mornings are better than others today was not one of those days. Three kids is hard don't let anyone lie to you. It's hard. Or maybe it's just having a baby. Or being a working mother outside the home and three kids. I do know I'm one doctor appointment away from losing my shit. And that I'm human and cannot do it all. And I don't. And I feel guilty for that.

This photo really says it all.

My life is busy. And chaotic and wonderful all at the same time, my children amaze me and I'm so lucky to have them and Brad my best friend who puts up with my craziness. So very lucky.
 

Oh and on a super side note the new shaken iced sweet tea at Starbucks is perfect, perfect. And only served in the south, this makes me happy.