six

Six is the number of days I have been a non-smoker.

I really like the sound of it, non-smoker. Yep, pretty awesome.

I had a really tough time late this morning, I wanted one bad. My normal routine would be to go downstairs grab the mail and a quick smoke. I'm not surprised, it's pretty much a given it was my routine for so many years. Six years of that exact routine M-F around 10AM rain or shine hot or cold.

My husband as he always does asked me how I was feeling this morning.

Such an easy question to respond to.

Yet, I didn't know what to say because well...

I felt numb. I have been on major defense mode the past six days.  Trying not to feel. I know it may sound a bit strange but if I remain neutral I will not lose it. That's my tactic for now, to just be.

I skyped Brad and confessed my ridiculous urge, he suggested I take a walk down to Starbucks and grab a drink. Now normally I'd totally be up for this. But see we are really trying to stay on budget and get out of debt. i.e. baby step no. 2. And well Starbuck's just wasn't on the budget this week. Instead of giving in to either options. I got up and chopped salad veggies for my lunch.

Yep, idle hands helped me get my mind off the crazed craving. I'm a bit stubborn in case you didn't know this, so make note of it.

By the time I got back to my desk I had an email, from Starbucks. Weird right?! I figured it was spam or some virus chain email crap but it was addressed to Aunt Abra. It was from Jackson T. a gift card, yep you read that right. A gift card to Starbucks!

I need to go buy a lotto ticket right now!

See Jackson is a black lab I helped my boss rescue from the Little Elm animal shelter a few years ago. She recieved an email from a rescue organization and she instantly fell in love. He was on the euthanize list for that evening if someone didn't adopt him by 5PM. She was going out of town for the weekend and they would not hold him, not even with a deposit. So I kindly offered to go get him and keep him for the weekend.

So, off I go to Little Elm late afternoon on a Friday. Traffic was a nightmare. And I got lost. This was before I had a GPS and a fancy iPhone with directions. All I had was a crappy print-out from google maps that was WRONG! I stopped and asked for directions twice. No one knew where the shelter was. There was a deadline. If I didn't make it to pick him up in time. Well I don't think I could have showed my face at work Monday morning.

I finally made it with minutes to spare. Jackson was just a skinny little thing. We knew nothing about him besides he was a black lab, male and young. And it didn't matter, see it was just meant to be. He happily climbed in the Mustang and rode shotgun all the way home. He was such a sweet boy from the beginning. We made it home, I bathed him and we got to know him for the weekend. His mom picked him up on Sunday afternoon and I think it was love at first sight for sure. See Jackson has the best mom in the whole world, he is spoiled and rightfully so. I mean look at this face, love...

My kiddo's still ask and talk about the "hurt" tail dog. Not because his tail was injured. But because he was so happy and constantly wagged his tail. And when your a kid and um short it doesn't feel so great to have a dog's tail beat the crap out of your face. They loved him anyways though.

Thank you Jackson for the gift card today, it really made my day bearable!